Recent months/the last year or so has been tumultuous.
My determination has pushed me to continue to pursue the things that are important to me. Most importantly, I want to embrace hope. Hope is and has always been my defining feature (good luck explaining that one in an interview), things can’t always be horrible, right? Examining the past has made it clear that the things that I thought would break my spirit have only brought me closer to my goals.
I’ve also found that people are most important to me. Making sure that I feel like I’ve done my best to make them feel heard and like their feelings are important. I AM scientifically oriented, but it is not something that brings me great joy- whereas impacting people’s lives (even subtly) is rewarding and brings me peace. I enjoy explaining processes and the lightbulb that glimmers in their eyes as a result of their understanding. Maybe I should have been a teacher? But really, I am a teacher in my own small way- a teacher in the pathway to understanding. A mother in all aspects of my life, which to some would likely be exhausting, but to me is fascinating and invigorating in ways that I cannot quite explain.
Be the light in a dark world. This can be meaningful to many people in different situations, and I used to think of it as being continuously happy- but this is not necessarily true. Today, it means to spread hope and knowledge. Tomorrow it could mean something completely different. For me, taking the time each day to acknowledge the meaning brings me peace and knowing when I need to borrow someone else’s light has become something that I am working on- you cannot be everything all the time, it’s okay to break.
The pieces will come back together when you are ready to rearrange them.
Illuminating Madness 